June 2020

Hello All! Here we are halfway through the year! How did this happen?! For me, time has totally slowed down because of a sudden fall 8 weeks ago in which I fainted 3 times. (Doctors are still debating the reason). I am now suffering from post-concussion syndrome, which means headaches, decreased memory/concentration, anxiety, vertigo, and decreased level of activity.

So how do you cope with a physical issue which alters your life in the midst of a pandemic and social unrest on issues I care deeply about?

Resources and Connections: 

First, you start with SELF CARE. This means dealing with yourself where you are. If you do not take care of yourself first, there will not be a you to be there for yourself or others! For me, this means lots of rest, while at the same time doing what I can activity-wise, even if only for a few minutes or hours, cutting back on the news and social media. 

Emotionally, it means ACCEPTANCE of where I am–i.e., letting myself experience whatever I am feeling in the moment. 

SELF TALK: This means thinking/talking positively within ourselves. We are often our own harshest critics. I tend to call myself “stupid,” and I have learned to substitute loving nicknames for myself, e.g., “Sweet Carolyn.” Or telling myself, “It is ok to be where you are,” or “It is ok if you cry.” With others, it is ok to set boundaries, to reach out for support, or be thankful for the support. Spiritually, it is ok to tell your Higher Power what you are experiencing, and how you need help.

And the good news for me is that I WILL come out of this eventually, I can do PT to help myself heal, take meds, whatever it takes to help myself. Since we should be staying home anyway, it is a good time to slow down! (Gotta have some humor!).

Till next time…

Blessings,

Carolyn Q

ON FATHER’S DAY  

Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads in the world and all the Dads in Heaven, especially my own dad, Jacob William Walters, aka J.W. or Walt.

My dad was born on a tenant farm, the last of 7 children, and grew up in the Great Depression.  The year before he died, we visited the site of his birth.  

He served in WWII in the South Pacific, a Marine fighting on Guadalcanal, Okinawa, Peleliu, and much more.  He almost died from typhus at one point. He suffered for the rest of his life from shellshock, or what we now call PTSD.  He also became hard of hearing and amazingly, learned to read lips!

Dad went to work for Southwestern Bell after the war as a lineman and then as an installer/repairman for 39 years.  He was known in his quiet way for his skill, willingness to help, and dependability.  In his later years, he flipped houses.  He would buy them cheaply, Mom would design them, and then Dad would renovate them.  He taught himself plumbing, electricity, whatever, in the process!  I was always so proud of his craftsmanship!

The folks’ most important goal was to always keep the family together so we moved with Dad 18 times in 6 years in our trailers.  The biggest move was when we finally settled in our small hometown. One of the happiest memories was moving into our own home.  Dad and Mom did all the finishing work, and us kids helped out!  We did everything together as a family.  This was the cornerstone of Dad’s life. Probably the biggest turning point in our family was in joining the local Christian Church (DOC). We were baptized together.  Dad at 6’2″, as he was immersed, was dropped by the shorter minister!!  For the rest of his life, Jesus was Dad’s Main Man!  The tears streamed down his cheeks one day as I realized this in amazement!  As he was dying, he said he was not afraid because Jesus was with him.  

One of Dad’s greatest joys was traveling.  He even built a little travel trailer when us kids were young. Mom and he spent some of their happiest years in retirement traveling, and their winters in AZ.  They made friends from all over the US.  On his 70th birthday, Dad stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon in total awe.  It was one of our happiest family trips.

These are just a few of the highlights of his life.

I often see his laughing, joyous face painted across the AZ sky which he loved, and in my tears of grief, I am happy!!   

Blessings,

Carolyn Q

In all my years on earth both personally and professionally, I have found that the most difficult, and also most necessary of all life’s experiences, is in relationship to ourselves, others, and God (however you define God).  So, over the next few weeks, I will be focusing on these relationships.  

Healing:  I have struggled from the earliest memory with self-esteem.  There seem to be two basic kinds of self-esteem:  

1. Internal self-esteem–how you feel about and view yourself regardless of anyone else. 

2. External or other self-esteem–how you are viewed by others (or how you think you are viewed) and its effect on you.

I remember feeling good about myself from earliest memory at age 3.  This was in direct tension with feeling unsure about myself too, mostly in relationship to the greater world. So, from our earliest time, even in utero, we are influenced by factors in relationship to others and the greater world. It is almost impossible not to be.  So, from my earliest beginning, it seems there were two parts of me, one feeling so good about myself, and one in tension with my relationship to the bigger world and how it affected me.

Connections:  As a small child, feeling good about myself was reflected in my boldness to go up to others, and confidently say, “Hi, I’m Carolyn, I’m 4 years old, do you want to hear me sing my favorite songs?” Mom told me often the first word I said after Mommy and Daddy was “Why?” So that insatiable curiosity I have always had has been there from the beginning.  I also felt an unspeakable connection with something which I could not put into words.  However, I often also felt unsure of myself as we moved to 18 different towns by the time I was age 6. On the one hand, this has left me with a lifelong sense of adventure to travel, experience new things, new places, new people.  At the same time, I have always had the need to trust, to be anchored, to feel safe, to belong, which I often do not feel.

I am currently experiencing this feeling of being unanchored, unsafe, untrusting, and not belonging, all related to a serious fall I had 6 weeks ago when my blood pressure suddenly dropped and I fainted and hit the floor.  (I have no memory of this).  I am now also experiencing post-concussion symptoms.  Isn’t it amazing what can throw you into those earliest needs and fears?  I feel like I do not know myself and I am starting over.  All this in the midst of a pandemic and the amazing, necessary metamorphosis our country is struggling with right now!  

More on these issues in next week’s blog!  Hopefully, my mind and memory will be more clear!  

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.

RESOURCES FOR CHALLENGING TIMES

Healing:  Many are experiencing tough times as we go through Covid-19, especially the stressors on finances, which affects every aspect of our lives.  At one point in my life, I was laid off 5 times in 12 years.  I was fortunate to have a partner but it was still very stressful financially, to say nothing of the effect on my self-esteem.  Below are resources which you can check out for yourselves and/or to help others!  

Resources and Connections:  

*For information and referral nationally on every need 24/7:  

• 211 United Way:  By phone, simply dial 211 or via computer, go to 211.org and you will get information for your city/state.  

For Seniors (And usually for anyone disabled):

• Area Agency On Aging for your region/state.
• Senior Resources Guide:  Senior Resource Guide or National Senior Resources Directory.
• Eldercare Locator:  1-800-677-1116.

For Food Assistance: 

• Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)1-800-221-5689 or benefits.gov.  
• Food Banks:  FoodPantries.org  Feeding America
• https://des.az.gov/services/basic-needs/food-assistance

Healthcare: 

• Senior Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) for Medicare eligible recipients.  Free 1:1 counseling assistance.

Check out Seniors Resource Guide for excellent information and referral by state to SHIP.

Utilities Assistance:  

• Client Assistance Program:  Benefits.gov.  (Best to apply early in the month while funds are available).

Other resources for all kinds of needs for incredible prices:

• Dollar Tree, Family Dollar, Dollar General, 99 cent Store, or Food City. 
• Ross Dress for Less:  Senior Day Tuesdays 10% off.
• Bealle’s Outlet:  Senior Day Mondays 15% off.

For Small Businesses:

• US Small Business Owner’s Guide.
• CoronaVirus: Small Business Guidance and Loan Resources.
• Small Business Resource Directory. 
• Paycheck Protection Program
• Senior Professional Network: http://seniorbusinessconection.com

Alignable: The Small Business Network.  

• Alignable’s Corona Resource Recovery Center for Small Businesses.

Additional Resources:

• Unemployment Insurance Benefits
• Pandemic Unemployment Assistance – For individuals who are not otherwise eligible for unemployment insurance (UI) benefits.

• List of Relief funds in your state. 
• For photographers, musician, artists, journalism, filmmakers, actors, or writers: https://phlearn.com/resources/#cb-module-6

• For Beauty Industry Workers: https://www.probeauty.org/covid-relief-fund-application/covid-19-application

It is hoped these resources will be helpful to you and/or others.  PLEASE feel free to share!

Any questions, contact me at: 602-451-2233 or [email protected].

What resources would you suggest? Please share.

          Live your Life with

                Radical Love, Compassion, 

              Grace, & Gratitude! 

Healing: All of the stress in the Universe and our world finally caught up with me one month ago today. Physically, I literally collapsed with low blood pressure and blood rushing to my feet.  Emotionally, my poor heart could not handle any more.  Mentally, my head drained from all the stress of Covid-19, collapse of the economy, and negative politics. Spiritually, I totally gave up and surrendered.

Resources: I realized my collapse was more than physical.  I had to go through this to make room for radical love, compassion, grace, and gratitude to be part of my life again. And now, with the violence in our country, this is even more imperative.  I also had to surrender to the process of whatever is going on with me and accept the help of others, including a team of medical experts.

Connections:  

*Radical Love:  All great spiritual traditions value love.  Radical love embraces reverence for all life and nonviolence in thought, word, and deed and shows that violence only begets violence.  

How can we show radical love in this time of division, violence, and deep ancestral pain? 

*Compassion:  This resides in and comes forth from our heart.  We are called to be compassionate not only with others, but with ourselves.  I have had to be kind with myself in my current state and allow others to be there for me.

How can we show compassion for ourselves and for others with different points of view, behaviors, cultures, ethnicities, religions/no religions, sexual orientation?

*Grace:  Grace is something which is freely given without judgment, and is available with acceptance and forgiveness.  The only hitch is we have to be ready to accept it and let it in.

I am again in a state of Grace for the 100th time in my life!  

How are you letting grace into your life?

*Gratitude:  Having an attitude of gratitude can physically create new neural pathways in the brain and radically change and heal us.  

I am SO GRATEFUL for this opportunity yet again to change and heal in all ways!

What are you GRATEFUL for in the midst of whatever you are going through and the pain engulfing our world?  How different could things be in our lives and in the world if we only lived in gratitude?!