April 2021

The role of Chaplain in Hospice is a very special one. In Hospice, our patients and their families are accepted for whatever their spiritual beliefs are, even if they are agnostic.

We serve all if it is requested, or make sure spiritual needs are provided for.  

   A favorite Chaplain of ours was Pastor Robert Pekarski. He was passionate about his love for Jesus and His saving grace!  Pastor Bob was also full of life, could mercilessly tease you (that is how you knew he liked you), and loved to interact with patients, families, and staff.

Bob was born in a mountain logging town north of Spokane in Washington State.  We often talked about this since half of my maternal family lives in Washington State. Bob’s family later moved to Ohio.   As a teen, Bob served his country in the Navy.  He always had a calling to serve vets for the rest of his life. More on this later!

 When Bob was in his thirties, his first wife died of complications in heart surgery, leaving him with 4 small children.  Bob found a lifelong partner in Eve who had 3 children of her own and helped raise Bob’s children.  They were a very bonded couple throughout their lives together. When Bob and Eve moved to Arizona, Bob had a successful pesticide business for many years, even continuing after he became a Hospice Chaplain.

Bob was ordained through Assemblies of God Church in Phoenix.  I first met him when he was doing a worship service at Sunshine Village, a memory care program for persons with dementia.  He continued this for many years.  Bob and Eve were Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus in settings such as this and went wherever they were invited.  Bob continued playing Santa after Eve died, which he greatly enjoyed!

  Bob served as a Chaplain in different Hospices.  He not only helped patients and their families, but also the staff.  One of my favorite memories of Bob was his sermon on the 23rd Psalm which he gave at different memorial services we held yearly for patients’ loved ones.  You were never the same after one of his sermons!  He could belt out the songs too!

I think one of Pastor Bob’s favorite roles was coordinating the We Honor Vets Program.  This is a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization in conjunction with the Department of Veterans Affairs to provide services and resources, compassionate listening, and acknowledgment of their service at the end of life. Pastor Bob would make home visits to present special plaques or other mementos to the vets and/or their families and/or attend their memorial services and present these to the family.

Pastor Bob also served vets and their families through a local homeless shelter which he tirelessly promoted!  Pastor Bob helped start a Hospice support dinner and got me to become the contact person!  We were able to celebrate his 84th birthday!  We have met quarterly for 6 years till Covid and will be meeting again!  

Pastor Bob finally needed to go to a group home due to health issues and was welcomed into one in which he had served as Chaplain.  He was in 7th heaven with all the ladies there!  We lost Pastor Bob this past March and due to Covid, we had not been able to visit in the past year.

Even though we miss you and love you so much Pastor Bob, we know you are in Heaven with your beloved Eve doing your thing!

Blessings,

Carolyn  

PS: We got a new precious lab/corgi mix doggie on Saturday and you will meet her soon!

Working in Hospice is a calling.  You may not know it when you start, but in time if you are meant to work in Hospice, it becomes such a part of you, that no matter what else you may do in your life, you never forget that Hospice experience.  

My own journey started in 1994 when a special position was created for me to be a Hospice Bereavement Coordinator. I provided bereavement services and ran a bereavement support group for persons who had lost their loved ones. For the next 25+ years, I facilitated bereavement support groups in hospice, hospitals, churches, and social service agencies. During part of that time, I was also a social worker and chaplain in hospice. There were several women who were mentors, role models, and teachers for many of us.

The first for me was SR. Teresa McIntier RN, MS, CSJ. I participated in 30 hours of training with her when I began, and which became the foundation of all my future griefwork. My favorite story about her which she told on herself was: “A man came up to me one time and asked me, “So, Sister, what is Heaven like?” In her usual blunt and direct style, she replied, “How should I know?! I haven’t been there yet!”

Her three-phase Grief Model was the most straightforward, user-friendly, and easy to understand that I have ever found. It formed the basis of my griefwork and a Model I have developed. Her Model and SR. herself were also the inspiration for my own book on healing the loss of a loved one before, after, and beyond the loss. (Still in progress). For years in Phoenix, SR. Teresa provided bereavement services and death education for hospices, bereavement professionals, and the grieving through her work in Catholic Charities. She was a founding member and faculty for the American Academy of Bereavement, helped found New Song Center for Grieving Children, and received numerous awards. She ended her 70+ year career with Catholic Cemeteries. She touched countless lives with her love, compassion, plain spokenness, humor, and humility.

Judy Wineland, who you were introduced to last week, was originally from Wisconsin.  She always had a practical, down-to-earth approach to life, interjected with a joyous, infectious laugh, sense of humor, and deep faith which permeated all areas of her life.

 In middle age, Judy earned her Bachelor of Science in Social Work.  She became a Hospice Social Worker and never looked back.  She helped countless hospice patients and their families solving problems, getting resources, providing support, and being present along with other staff at the time of dying and death.  She loved taking new social workers under her wing. Judy also never burned bridges with former employers, a core value she lived by.

Judy was also instrumental in founding a Hospice Staff of the Year Award, as well as a Community Service Award. SR Teresa was the first recipient of this award and for once, was at a loss for words! The award then bore her name thereafter.

Next week you will meet another Hospice Heroine, “Hospice Queen” Jerene Meierle, who we lost just last week, and whose extraordinary life not only touched so many of us, but who mentored us, and helped us launch our various careers in Hospice and beyond!  

I invite you this week to remember someone in your life who has been your mentor, guide, supporter!

Blessings,

Carolyn