May 2021

My hometown of Beloit, Kansas has always celebrated Memorial Weekend in a BIG way!  The weekend is filled with activities of class reunions, a parade, picnic in Chautauqua Park, Talking Tombstones, and on Memorial Day itself, a Wreath Ceremony at the river, followed by ceremonies to honor our vets at the cemeteries. It is a time of celebration, remembrance, and getting together with friends

My parent’s headstone.

Memorial Day Weekend Activities in Beloit, Kansas.

      It is also a time to remember our loved ones and ancestors.  In my own family, my Dad raised special peony bushes by the rose trellis he had built so many years ago.  For 30 years, my parents would fill dozens of jars of peonies, and travel 160 miles round trip to deliver these to honor my Dad’s ancestors buried in a small cemetery in Hanover, Kansas, then on to Concordia, where Mom’s ancestors are laid to rest, and finally to Beloit.  I usually accompanied them.  After Dad died, Mom and I kept up the tradition for many years, and I have tried to get home to honor my folks in May.   It was always so special and brings tears to my heart to remember.

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       In Remembrance:  Terry Householter

    Terry Householter was a local boy from Concordia, Kansas, 30 miles from my hometown.  He was very famous in our home state for his running, breaking records in the 100, 220, and 440 dashes which stood for many years.  

He had natural athletic ability, sometimes skipping practice, and, rumor has it, smoking and partying at times.  He was very popular, a leader,  and touched many lives, including me when he flirted with me at track meets.  (YES I still remember).

Terry, Championship runner.

    After graduation and one semester of college, Terry joined the Marines to fight in Viet Nam.  It was not till many years later that I learned my cousin Jerry and he had gone to high school together (but were not close at that time). They met up in a mess hall in the camp where they along with hundreds of other Marines were headquartered in Viet Nam, and became close buddies, even though in different units. They even talked about rooming together in college once they returned from Nam.

Jerry & Terry in Vietnam.

     A few months before he was due to return home, Terry, squad leader of his unit, and his unit were ambushed.  As Terry tried to radio for help, the Viet Cong, picking him out as the leader, shot him and he was killed.  (This experience is harrowingly recounted in the story of Terry’s life online).

Terry in Vietnam.

   My cousin Jerry had seen him a few days before he was killed.  It was a tragedy for many in our home area and state, with Terry being one of the first killed in Nam from our area.  His funeral was held at Concordia High, attended by hundreds.  Terry was posthumously promoted to Corporal and awarded the Bronze Star and Purple Heart for Valor in Action. 

  My story with Terry does not end there.  While in Taos, New Mexico in 1998, I made the 50-mile journey on the Enchanted Circle.  I discovered a Viet Nam Memorial, honoring vets who been killed, and there was a page devoted to Terry in his running days and in Nam.

     Years later, I also discovered that Terry had been named for a cousin-in-law in my family!  The connections!  I was finally able to visit his grave in Pleasant Hill Cemetery near the grandparents who raised him, marked by flowers even after all these years, and neatly kept.   

   I often ponder who and what Terry would have become if he had lived beyond Viet Nam and returned home.  Even after all these years, he touches lives, and I believe he watches over us!  

Blessings on this Memorial Day,

Carolyn 

To read more about Terry, check out the book written about him, The House Rules by Chris Ryland, et al. Available in paperback on Amazon.

    LASTING MEMORIES:  FIRST TRIP TO DUBOIS, WY, THE GRAND TETONS, AND YELLOWSTONE

     It has been such a difficult year for everyone.  I thought it would slow down as Covid seems under better control.  But this is not the case.  Everyone in my world, including me, continues to go through serious stressors.

    As of yesterday, I have now gone through 10 deaths in 10 months of close family and friends, only one to Covid. I also have many close friends and family going through MAJOR serious illness and treatment, especially this past week.  My reaction:  I broke down emotionally, followed by my back going out!  

    In addition to medications to help myself, I asked, “What else can I do?!”  And up came my family’s first long trip to see my maternal grandparents and family in Washington State!  My memories from that trip are lasting. Some of the most important which I still carry in my heart is now shared in words and images!

   We traveled by car in our 4 door forest green Mercury!  I do not remember details so much, just the utter EXCITEMENT of it all.  And the first time I saw the Grand Tetons, those rugged, jagged mountains, spires of the mountain tops piercing the sky, some dusted with snow left from winter.  Those mountain tops pierced ME And still do to this day!  These remain my Favorite mountains of all! Gotta get back there!

      My next clear memory was Yellowstone National Park.  I picked images to reflect my clearest memories!  The mountains in the distance, the magnificent waterfalls, the pine trees, the hiking trails, the wildlife, the iridescent geysers shimmering in the sun!  But most of all, Old Faithful shooting straight up out of its seemingly quiet pool, cascading and spraying in all directions as it tumbled back to earth!  Nothing like it, even our shooting falls in Fountain Hills, AZ.  

    And last, the small town of Dubois, Wyoming, snow-covered mountains in the background, the Wind River meandering through, the rustic old town, part cowboy, log cabins, and buildings everywhere!  To this day, it has been my dream of Where To Live!  

    And my Mom’s fantasy of what Heaven would be:  Dad had built them a log cabin, complete with a front porch and rocking chairs, the mountains, river, and pine trees in view, and them rocking their way into Heaven!  Do not know how you can beat that!  

The Tetons

Old Faithful

Grand Tetons

Dubois, WY. A town I still carry in my heart.

Rams, Dubois

 It is my hope you carry images in your heart that help inspires you and heal you in the midst of difficult times!

PS:  Please feel free to share what helps heal you!  We could all use this right now!

Blessings,

Carolyn  

I have been so fortunate to have had two Moms, my birth Mom and forever Mom, Barbara Stevenson Walters, and my Bonus Mom Eleanor known as Lee.  Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day to both of you! 

The older I get, the more meaningful and precious I am aware of the earthly time I spent with my Mom Barbara.  I miss her every day.  Some of my favorite memories:

•  How she would bravely be by herself while Dad was working somewhere else during the week when my brother and I were so little.  How she would let her chores go and sit down on the floor with us to play, read us books, teach us slightly bawdy songs she had learned from her Dad!  
• How she went to work when I was in high school to help send me to college, how she continued to work because she liked it so much, and how she had to retire at age 48 due to a heart problem.
• How she let me learn to cook on my own because I could not take advice or orders!  (And the family ate it anyway)!  Once I left home, she was always available to give me advice when I needed it, make holiday bread with her, send me recipes from Heloise with handy tips on everything from A to Z!  She was always there for my brother and me!
• Once she became a widow, we talked 2x DAILY on the phone for 14+ years, until her major stroke.  I miss this the most
• How with each stage of her life when she had to adapt to giving up the family home, and then move into independent, assisted living, and finally the nursing home, she said, “My Grandma and Mom were my role models on doing this, so I can too!” And she did with grace and grit!  
• How she was there for me when I had my bad concussion last year, cradling me as I lay on the floor.  I know you are my Guardian Angel Mama Bear!  

I met my Bonus Mom at age 26.  We were both at a difficult time in our lives.  I was picking up the pieces to start a new life after a divorce, a disastrous move to California, and a return home to live with my folks.  Lee at age 45 had lost her husband to a heart attack while he was hunting, was deeply depressed with her grief, and was trying to start over with the help of her two daughters.  I became the third daughter.  

We had a tight-knit group of 5 friends, went out together every Wednesday to a club, went shopping, and shared life’s secrets.  Lee was the Mom I could share anything with!  

I helped Lee and her daughter get her into counseling through the Menninger Foundation which helped save her life. She then got a great job with the Kansas Bar Association. I went through the breakdown of her youngest daughter into serious mental illness with her and her oldest daughter, a truly devastating experience that was lifelong. 

Our birthdays were 4 days apart, and we would always celebrate at the Red Lobster.  Once I moved to another city and then Arizona, we talked on the phone at least monthly. 

Lee was diagnosed with incurable cancer, and her 2nd marriage ended. I flew her out to Arizona for a visit, not realizing how advanced her cancer was.   We were able to do a few fun things, including the Desert Botanical Gardens and Sedona.  Lee lived 9 months longer than her prognosis, and had started counseling again!  

I was on my way to work as a crisis therapist when I suddenly was overcome with grief about Lee!  Sure enough,  when I got home, there was a message that Lee had died during that time!  I was so bereft.  A week after my birthday, a birthday card arrived from Lee, and we never knew what human sent it because Lee had been in the hospital the last month of her life! Of course, it was Heaven sent!  

I still miss both of my Moms, but know I shall be with them again!  

Blessings and Happy Mother’s Day!  

Carolyn

My mom Barbara Inez Stevenson Walters

Carolyn & Mom

My favorite picture of my mom

Mom & Carolyn

Lee, my second mom, and her second husband.

Lee my second mom.

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My love affair with fur babies started as a child with our family pets, first a black and white Boston Terrier that we dearly loved and lost at age 5 doing what she loved the most, running free.  Our family was in great grief when my brother convinced Mom and Dad we needed another dog to help heal our grief and be a companion. Enter black and white Beau (Brummell) who lived an incredible 17 years and brought so much happiness!  

Somewhere along the line I fell in love with a black lab named Cleopatra, pet of a then boyfriend, and always wanted one from then on.  Finally in 2003 came regal Baron!  When I met him at age 3 weeks and put him on my shoulder, he made what I would come to call his “Mommy groan,” and I knew he was ours.  

We got Baron at age 6 weeks, and he tried to climb out of his box as I took him home, showing his first signs of being a “Marley” dog.  Remember the book and movie “Marley and Me?”  First came the gated area, then the crate, and finally dog training at 3-6 months!  At 6 months we left him crated for our first outing!  Upon our return home, I looked for his 6-foot leather leash which I had left on top of his enclosed kennel, and all I found was 2.5 feet and the clasp!  He had somehow managed to chew 3.5 feet into 1-inch pieces!  The vet said to give him pumpkin and it worked!  (Friendly tip if you need to get something moving). Baron was a such a handsome, beautiful boy with his dad’s coloring and his Mom’s build and short legs!  (Check out the pics).  He loved playing frisbee with his Dad and just hanging out.  His favorite activity with Mom was going for car rides and looking at the Christmas lights.  He lived an awesome 14 years.

 I have told Bo’s story in previous blogs.  A recap:  Molly, a dear young animal lover, texted me about this incredible black and white lab mix at a local shelter, and after God and Baron bugged me to see him, of course, he came home with me! Within the first hour, he had bonded with Dad, but it took longer with me. Bo suffered from PTSD, especially during thunderstorms, July 4, and in the nite.  It took a long time to help him attach.  The turning point came when we took him on a 1900 mile road trip with us and FINALLY, bonding with Mom!  The last few months of his life, he wanted to be with us, to be close to us, all the time.  I believe pets know when it is their time to get ready to cross the Rainbow Bridge.  He was ailing for only about 10 days and declined rapidly in 2 days.  

Again, my heart was broken! I tried to wait to look for another fur baby, but Bo appeared to my friend Janie in meditation and said he would soon send another dog to us.  And friends Steve and Diane Wolfe found another fur baby soon after losing their beloved Simon and that was a sign to me to go ahead!  

On our 17th wedding anniversary, we went to the AZ Animal Welfare League after making a Meet and Greet appointment online.  In her online pictures, this little black lab/corgi mix with a white blaze on her chest looked huge.  So when this doggie with a lab body and corgi legs came trotting out with a smile on her face, and immediately greeted me, then Don, with kisses and affection, my heart melted.  

 This past week has been adventuresome with Bella antics daily!  Out the front door, 2x and being found at our door waiting for me, learning not to lick, how to walk on a leash, and how to stay has been demanding, but she is the most loving, affectionate, joyous fur baby I have ever had.  She loves riding in the car with the windows down.  She loves all humans, other dogs not so much. Her separation anxiety is HUGE and will take time.

But as one of my spiritual teachers once said, the animals have come to love us unconditionally, to be our companions, and help make our burdens lighter.  And to bring us JOY💝🐱🐴🐶

 BLESSINGS UPON YOU AND YOUR FUR BABIES!

Carolyn

PS: Please share YOUR fur baby stories, including pics!