March 2022

Out of the blue at 5 pm on Friday 3/18, 2022, I received a Facebook post about the “Graduation Party Celebration for Rev. Keith A. Gorley.”  At first, I thought it was an announcement related to his autobiography which had been accepted for publication earlier last year.  But NO!  It was instead the announcement of celebrating Keith’s life.  Keith had died on 2/25/22 from cancer.  

I was DEVASTATED!  HOW COULD THIS BE?  OUR DEAR FRIEND KEITH?!  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!  WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?!  I yelled out loud, frightening our rescue Bella who had never heard Mommy’s gut-wrenching cry before.  

I was finally able to read the wonderful story of Keith’s life written by his children Karmay and Jason.  But the tears remained STUCK, while the stomach churned!  I just let myself grieve all night, and for the next several days, going back and forth from the shock of disbelief to the absolute pain of loss and finally to the sweet remembrances of a life intertwined with mine for the past 22 years.  

My memories drifted back to when Keith and I had met in middle age at the Interfaith Theological Seminary of Tucson, along with 7 other students from Tucson and from across the country, in August 2000.  This began the arduous journey for the next two years of us all being in the Seminary together.

Along with this, several of us, including Keith and myself, also pursued our Masters in Theology at the same time through Prescott College, Tucson campus.  All in the midst of working too!  (Keith worked as a probation officer.  I was a social worker in Hospice).

It was so good having small classes for support, challenge, humor, and being pushed out of our comfort zones and with instructors from a variety of backgrounds, experience, expertise, and knowledge, along with doing our practicums in a variety of settings.  We were an INDEPENDENT bunch, calling ourselves The Gandhi’s!  

Our class was ordained together in a touching ceremony that we helped plan at Picture Rocks Retreat Center on April 6, 2002.

Keith continued as a probation officer while at the same time pursuing spiritual interests and his form of ministry. He also became an AVID Tango dancer in these years! (I started my career as a Hospice chaplain).

Donn, my then-fiance, and Keith also had many parallels in their lives.  Both had grown up back East and both had served in the United States Air Force, in addition to lived experiences as African American men.  Don and I wanted Keith in our wedding!  And so in his magnificent purple robe and matching hat, Keith read eloquently from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet” on Marriage, one of our favorite readings. 

Keith stayed with us at times in the following years when he was flying out of Phoenix.  On one such visit, he was on the phone frequently with his new lady love. The next year, Keith asked me to perform the marriage ceremony for Karen, his “lady love,” and him in Flagstaff.  (He told me he had waited a long time for Karen). Keith made all the wedding arrangements, including writing the ceremony.  Below is a brief excerpt from this ceremony:

“Family and friends, we stand here as witnesses to the outer unification of Karen and Keith.  Spiritually, they have always been one in the One Life…  It was love that brought Karen and Keith together, and it is love that will sustain their union.  In the presence of the One Life, Karen and Keith have been joined together.  And so, it is.”

In the past few years, Keith worked avidly on his autobiography, The Life Side of Life.”  It is to be published In the coming months.  (You beat me to it, Keith, getting your book done!  So PROUD OF YOU)

Never could we have imagined that Keith would be gone so early from this life. 

KEITH, WE LOVE YOU, WE MISS YOU BEYOND WORDS, AND KNOW WE WILL SEE YOU AGAIN!  

TILL THEN, May God’s peace be with you and all who love you!  

-Carolyn and Donn

Rev. Keith A. Gorley

Keith in our wedding (far right)

Our graduating Seminary class April 6, 2002. Keith 2nd from right, top row. Carolyn 2nd of right, first row.

Keith’s Graduation Party 3/26/22 Tucson, AZ

This is the extraordinary story of a grandmother and her granddaughter and the unconditional love they have for each other in spite of all the trials and tribulations they have been through to be together.

I first met Grandmother Suz in January 2011 when I was employed in a hospice as a chaplain and bereavement coordinator and Suz RN was Director of Quality Assurance.  We became close after several months when our offices were next to each other. I first met Jazz when she came to our annual Christmas Open House with Suz around age 8. They continued to do this till Covid hit. Jazz would also come to quarterly dinners of staff from the agency where Suz and I first met.  We all loved Jazz just for being Jazz, and as she hung out with adults so much older than her!  

I had known that Jazz had been with Suz since she was a tiny girl but I was not prepared for the story which they shared of the difficult journey which brought them together. Jazz however said she was an “open book” and could handle the telling of this story.

Jazz’ s Dad is the son of Suz. Jazz’s Mom per Suz had tried to be very healthy during her pregnancy with Jazz and Suz, who was working out of state, was present for the baby’s birth. However, when Jazz was 17 months old, Suz suddenly got a call that she needed to come get Jazz because her mother was not able to provide care for her.  

  This began the very difficult, arduous part of the Jazz and Suz journey in dealing with Child Protective Service RE temporary custody of Jazzie.  At first, it was a cooperative situation but then turned unbearable in the final hearing when Jazz was to be placed with Suz. The agency suddenly revealed that a home study for placement of Jazz with Suz had not been done.  Jazz was immediately taken and placed in foster care while Suz had to get to the airport.  Suz’s eyes filled with tears as she told this, and said it was the hardest day she has ever experienced. Suz was finally able to get Jazzie 4 months later but before leaving the foster home, the foster grandmother said she did not want to let Jazzie go.  Jazzie became hysterical as she clung to Suz, and they quickly had to leave.

Such trauma for a baby!  I was incensed having been a foster care/adoption specialist in my early social work career but tried not to totally lose my cool.  This entire experience was traumatizing and should never have happened!  Jazz and Suz did not express anger in this part of their story.  Instead, we were all tearful.

Jazz and Suz came to Arizona to live.  Till Jazz was around age 9, her Mom would come to visit, but this stopped when her mother had other children and had relocated to another state.  Jazz then would have to go see her.  When Jazz turned 13, she decided she wanted to try living with her mother, and Suz, in her wisdom, decided it would have to be tried.  A very hard period began for Jazz in which she experienced many difficulties.  She returned home to be with Suz and was finally able to be adopted.  This was celebrated with an adoption party!  Both Suz and Jazz were tearful through this part of the story, but Jazz said she wanted to share her story so others would know they are not alone and also tell what helped her get through this in the hope it will help others.  

Jazz chose to not have contact with her mother in the past few years.  She expressed her love and forgiveness toward her Mom and showed a maturity some of us never reach our entire lives.

Jazz and Suz then shared what helped them through all their trials.

Their coping skills were and are rooted in their faith.  Jazz said at age 13 she was in a Catholic youth retreat and heard the story of a young person who had also experienced trauma in his life.  

She totally related and said, “Lord, I surrender my heart to you.”  Jazz and Suz also had a very special experience at Chapel of the Holy Cross which provided more healing for both. Jazz lovingly looked at Suz and said, “Nana has always been a nurturer.”

Suz shared two experiences that have helped her with forgiveness in her life.  “You never look into the eyes of someone who God does not love.” 

The other was the story of Corey Ten Boom, a Dutch woman who had been in a concentration camp and witnessed her sister’s death at the hands of a German guard.  Years later this guard, who did not recognize Corey, came up to her after one of her talks, saying he was now a Christian, and asking her to take his hand and forgive him.  Corey per Suz prayed to God that she could not forgive him, but if God would move through her and her hand, He could forgive the man!  And so it was!   So Suz lets God handle what she cannot.

Jazz has set a goal of going into the medical field.  She related that God spoke to her in a dream and told her, “This is right.”  Jazz feels very supported by her faith. 

So this is part of the story of a most remarkable grandmother and granddaughter and their unconditional love!  And as Jazz exclaimed as she threw her arms around Suz,  “Nana, you are my Mom!”  ((Check out their absolute love and joy in their pics)! 

Blessings from me as the tears stream down my face!  So honored and privileged to know Suz and Jazz,  and for letting me share part of their story!  

Carolyn Q.

Carolyn, Jazz, & Suz

Suz & Jazz

Suz & Jazz

Jazz & her Dad

First Communion

18th birthday

Little Jazz

Little Jazz