adminquinn

In the midst of all the tumultuous events of the past week, I have had to soul search for what brings me comfort. So today and in upcoming midweek posts, I will share what brings me comfort, and also with the hope to inspire you to share what brings you comfort!

What brings me physical comfort?

*Since early childhood, the satin on a blanket which I always wear out!

*A cup of coffee in the morning.

*Staying in my jammies all day when I do not feel well.

*Simple stretching exercises.

     **What brings YOU physical comfort?**

What brings me emotional comfort?

*Being in nature in the change of the seasons!

*Decorating my home for each season/holiday.

*Listening to music that speaks to my soul!

    **What brings YOU emotional comfort?**

What brings me mental comfort?

*A sense of Humor (all kinds—mine and others!).

*Inspiring words and thoughts.

*The artwork of Rebekah Krevens and my “sis” Janet Rose Bailey.

      **What brings YOU mental comfort?

What brings you social/relationship comfort?

*In times of COVID, contact with family and friends however I can!

*Facebook groups such as “I Freaking Love Quotes,” “Traveling Back to the Old Days 40’s—80’s,” “Soul Sisters Tribe.”

*Donating to food banks in these trying times!

   **What brings YOU social/relationship comfort?

What brings me spiritual comfort?

*Certain Scriptures which have comforted me since childhood:  Psalm 23, 42, 46 (“Be still and know that I am God.”).

*Old hymns:  “In the Garden,” “Sweet Hour of Prayer,” “It is Well with my Soul.”

*Facebook support group:  Foothills Caring and Connections.

*The support/prayer network of my maternal family.

     **What brings YOU spiritual comfort?

I INVITE YOU TO POST WHAT BRINGS YOU COMFORT AND MAY I SHARE IT?  It may help someone else!  

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.

Usually, in the midst of a major illness, we do not consider the possibility that out of this situation, GIFTS can emerge! But they CAN AND DO, which helps in our healing. In our house, we first struggled to cope with my husband being hospitalized three times in eight months! Then came my scare with possible breast cancer, followed by collapsing on 5/3/20 which resulted in Post Concussion Syndrome. Testing then revealed I have two leaky heart valves and major sinus problems (I am recovering from sinus surgery). So what gifts could come out of all this?! More than I could ever imagine!

*Normally my husband and I are very independent. Illness changed all that. I had to help him in his recovery and then to help him stay on track with his health issues. Then he was there for me through all my trials. Result: *Through all this, we all have been brought closer together, are more of a team, and our love has deepened.

*Our rescue dog BO has PTSD and has had a love/caution relationship with me. During my illnesses, he has become my Comforter-In-Chief, staying by my side as I became a couch potato, offering me unconditional love as only a fur baby can do!

*The Post Concussion left me with a totally dented memory, vertigo, headaches, many other symptoms, and most of all, a loss of who I was. The gifts out of all this?!

*First, in desperation, I went online and was led to the PCS (Post Concussion Syndrome) Legacy Foundation, which validated my symptoms, and provided invaluable webinars, information, and support.

*The crack medical team of my own primary care doctor, cardiologist, neurologist, and ENT each helped provide pieces of my medical puzzle, followed by what to do.

*I reached out to others via social media and text, which has been unlike me in the past, and received great support!

*It seems my lifelong issues of worry, anxiety, depression, and difficult memories were partially knocked out of my brain and being!

*This has created space for new skills to come in: More common sense, ability to “think out of the box,” and to be more creative! Instead of losing myself, I have found a new sense of self.

*I had to TOTALLY SLOW DOWN, SURRENDER, DO NOTHING AND DEPEND ON OTHERS AND GOD. It has helped me be more understanding of others going through illness, and to have more patience and acceptance of myself to be WHERE I AM IN ANY GIVEN MOMENT!

It is still an ongoing journey as I may never get all my memory back, but the GIFTS are such a BLESSING (even through a Pandemic) and for this, I AM GRATEFUL!

BLESSINGS,
Carolyn

 I CELEBRATE THE WOMEN!  

(Inspired by the legacy of RBG and the women who have gone before, are here now, and will be in the future!)

Of Ancient Ancestry

Whatever ethnicity, lifestyle, race, religion, or station in life, who by their very existence, pioneered and paved the way for those of us to come.

Of My Own Ancestry

My half Irish, half German paternal grandmother born in a dugout on the plains of Kansas and who lived to be 100!

My maternal grandmother Elizabeth whose lifelong dedication to her faith, family, and social service inspired me to become a social worker.

My own mother Barbara, feisty, obstinate, hardworking wife, mother, daughter, sister who still guides, protects, and watches over me!

   Of Lifelong and New Friendships

Who have stayed with me through thick and thin, challenged me, supported me, loved me, and still do!  

Of Those In Careers

Who in social work, medicine, nursing, chaplaincy, bereavement, caregiving, motherhood, housewifery, military, police, clerking, and all the myriad roles of women, have served others and still do!

Of Those Who As Clients

Allowed me to hold the space for their healing, and challenged and taught me beyond my own limits.

Of Those Who in Recovery

Went before me and millions of others to show us the way of sobriety, new life, and the promise of starting over each day.

Of Those Who Are Young

And step forward to radically change the status quo, who choose to be traditional, and/or choose to do both.

Those Of Color

Who have stepped out and are stepping out courageously to fight for justice, for freedom, for equality, and/or who struggle in their daily lives.

African American:  Harriet Tubman (Underground Railroad conductor, abolitionist). Maya Angelou (Poet, civil rights activist). Dorothy Mae Lewis (my amazing mother-in-law who raised 13 children and welcomed/loved me as her daughter-in-law).

Asian:  Kalpana Chawla (First woman Indian astronaut who died in the Columbia tragedy).

Latinas:  Delores Huerta (Farm Labor movement leader and activist). My friend Laurie (Hispanic social worker and activist).

Middle Eastern:  Malala Yousafzal (Campaigner for girl’s education and Nobel Peace recipient).

Native American: Wilma Mankiller (Cherokee activist, social worker, first woman Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation).  

Trailblazers in the Judiciary

Sandra Day O’Connor

Ruth Bader Ginsberg (Rest in Peace!)

Sonia Sotomayor

Elena Kagan

All women who each in their own right have pioneered the role of women as professors, in government, and as judges and Supreme Court Associate Justices.  

Of Those Religious

Who in all religions and traditions have been called beyond the limits of their time to serve!  

The Mother Mary

Sr. Teresa McIntier (RN, Grief Educator, Counselor).

Jeanette Renouf: (Psychologist, Doctorate of Ministry, my mentor, and advisor).

Joyce Meyer:  Charismatic Christian author, speaker, and TV minister.  

 Of Those Who are in Your Life 

Have inspired, challenged, disciplined,  supported, comforted, and helped you to become who you are, and more than you thought you could be!  

WE BLESS ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE US, WHO WILL COME AFTER US, AND WHO ARE ON EARTH NOW!  

Carolyn Q.

Blessings upon mothers who labor to bring new life into the world.

Blessings upon those who lovingly labor to care for their families.

Blessings upon our teachers and all those who labor to teach our children, whatever the setting. 

Blessings upon those who lovingly labor to provide for the needs of their families.

Blessings upon those who labor to provide the most basic self care in spite of incredible odds.

Blessed are those who are unable to labor due to physical, emotional, or mental illness.

Blessings upon those who labor to care for our homeless.

Blessings upon those who labor in the fields to feed us.

Blessings upon those who tirelessly labor to transport goods so we can have food and goods.

Blessings upon those who labor on the frontlines to make sure we have this food and goods.

Blessings upon our frontline healthcare workers who labor ceaselessly to care for our sickest. 

Blessings upon our military who labor to keep us safe, and upon their families.

Blessings upon those who have lost employment but long to work; may they work again!

Blessings upon those who labor to save our planet!

Blessings upon ourselves as we labor to live life on our Blue Planet!   

Blessings upon each of you, 

Carolyn

This has been a week full of surprises!  I was honored to officiate at the funeral of a 100-year-old Grande Dame who had lived an adventurous and full life as she traveled and worked around the world for the US government.  It was in 98-degree weather however, complicated by a situation beyond the control of the family or myself which was very stressful.

I went into a downward spiral triggered by this situation.  My post-concussion symptoms were retriggered (headaches, decreased memory/concentration, and body aches); I sobbed from my gut; I had lost a sense of myself.  What I did not realize was that I had not yet experienced my grief about the post-concussion.  I was exhausted by the COVID crisis and the way our country is being torn apart right now.  I had also just lost our beloved Uncle Tom the previous week.  

The truth about grief is that it can be triggered by something that seems totally unrelated.  It can be about unresolved previous losses; the anniversary of the previous losses of loved ones;  multiple losses in a short or long period of time, or a combination of all these factors.

All that I was going through created a perfect storm for a huge grief reaction.  I had to BREAK DOWN TO BREAKTHROUGH! I had to let myself grieve at the deepest levels.   When I allowed this to happen this time, it took 24 hours.  (It is not always that fast and I will undoubtedly grieve again!).  I also reached out to my husband, our doggie, a few trusted friends, a healthcare professional, and God.

Out of this, many gifts came.  The seemingly impossible situation out of my control was resolved with a powerful phone call.  My physical therapist provided incredible support, reassuring me that stress of any kind could retrigger my symptoms, that grieving the concussion was needed, and that I had come out on the other side.  I was able to participate in the live streaming of my uncle’s funeral Mass with both sadness and joy.

So, these are examples of the gifts grief can give us if we can just allow ourselves to go THROUGH it.  We DO NOT GET OVER OUR GRIEF, BUT WE CAN GET THROUGH IT!  

Let me close with a childhood song (without hand motions!) learned in church camp and that I often used with Hospice patients and in bereavement support groups.

            So high you can’t get over it,

            So low you can’t get under it,

            So wide you can’t get around it,

            You gotta go through the door!  

Blessings to each of you as you go through life’s journey of grief and healing!

Carolyn

When the telephone rang on Wednesday morning August 19, and I saw it was Aunt Joan, my heart sank. “Oh no,” I thought, “It’s Uncle Tom!”  Sure enough, Aunt Joan, his youngest sister, told me he had passed away peacefully with Aunt Diane and his children around him.  

Uncle Tom had entered Hospice the month before and had done well with care from his wife Diane and oldest daughter Mary doing core caregiving for him, his two youngest sons spending nights when needed, and his youngest daughter Janet being available whenever she could. Tom had been successfully battling a rare form of cancer for many years until he had maxed out on the treatment he could have.  

I had been a mess all day Tuesday with grief, which is usually what happens to me just before the death of a loved one. Even though Aunt Diane had phoned me that he was declining, I still was not ready.  I thought he had more time!  I called Aunt Diane and his children who were on speakerphone and lost it! I had tried to hold it together because I have this thing that as the oldest grandchild on that side of the family, I want to be there for others.  Not that day.   

 Uncle Tom lived a long life of almost 85 years, the same as his Mom Elizabeth.  My Mom, his oldest sister Barb, used to joke that by the time he came along as the 7th of 9 kids, Elizabeth was running out of names, and so Tom’s middle name was after Dr. Leo Foy who had delivered 8 of the 9 kids!  

Tom was close to both his parents.  Following his Dad into the Bureau of Reclamation, he worked as a surveyor.  He could fix anything and helped his folks and others whenever he could.

Tom loved his brothers and sisters.  He was especially close to his youngest sisters Margaret (Margie) and Joan.  He never missed a family reunion except one, traveling from Washington State to wherever the reunions were held. He made it to our latest one in Wyoming last year. He also organized one at Sullivan Dam where he and Diane spent many summers.

Tom visited his older siblings as they aged.  When my own Mom had to move into Assisted Living, he and Diane stayed with her afterward when I had to leave, and Uncle Tom put together a table and bathroom equipment to help Barb.  

Tom and Diane also spent many years wintering in Yuma, Arizona, where they had many friends. They would come to Phoenix, too, to see my husband and me, and Aunt Mary would come from New Mexico sometimes for fun-filled weekends at swap meets, retail therapy, celebrating birthdays, and just hanging out. 

Tom and Diane also came a few times for our yearly Christmas open houses.  One of my favorite memories was Uncle Tom meeting my oldest stepdaughter for the first time.  He wrapped his arms around her and said, “Welcome to our family.”  She burst into tears as he held her. 

The other unforgettable memory of Uncle Tom which is seared into my heart was at the memorial Mass for his younger sister Margie.  When Margie’s oldest son Ruben arrived, he and Tom silently wrapped their arms around each other and held each other for several minutes.  

Tom was married twice, first to Aunt Kathy who was the mother of their 5 children whom he loved dearly.  He also loved her 4 older children.  Aunt Kathy died unexpectedly when she was young, and it was very devastating for everyone. Tom took me to visit her grave at my request, which was very special.   Her wicked sense of humor, her down to-earthiness, her outgoingness, and her boundless love for her children are still missed.  

Tom then married Aunt Diane, and they had many happy years living, traveling, and being there for each other through thick and thin. He embraced Diane’s children, too.  He and ALL of his grandchildren dearly loved each other!   

Tom was soft-spoken and often quiet, but when he spoke, it could be with humor, common sense, and lots of wisdom!  He was a man of deep Catholic faith, which he lived his entire life. He was SPECIAL to all who crossed his path!  

Your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your siblings, your numerous nieces and nephews, cousins, and friends will miss you sorely Tom Stevenson, but we are so GLAD you brought your SPECIALNESS into our lives!  WE LOVE YOU NOW AND ALWAYS!  

Your oldest niece, 

Carolyn Elizabeth 

(Inspired by the writings of Jason Beckom)

Thank you first responders in healthcare for your courage, your dedication, your commitment to care for the sickest among us.

Thank you my awesome RN husband for working in hospitals the past 35+ years in ER and floor nursing to tirelessly care for others.

Thank you daughter for working as a CNA in a nursing home caring for the sick and vulnerable.

Thank you all in healthcare for taking care of us who have other health care needs.

Thank you, Dr. Jackie, my primary care doctor of 24 years, for being there for me through thick and thin, especially through the past several months.

Thank you to my healthcare specialists, especially physical therapy, in helping me to recover myself the past few months.

Thank you first responders toiling in the fields harvesting crops so we might have food.

Thank you, road warriors (both local and long-distance), working tirelessly to deliver needed goods.

Thank you, postal workers, for working under stressful conditions to keep the mail going, especially for those needing to get their medications, and helping to ensure vote by mail.

Thank you for those working in retail, fast food, and other services who make it possible for our needs to be supplied.

Thank you, parents, who have to work either at home or in an office and juggle their children’s needs, especially educational, during Covid-19.

Thank you, teachers and other school personnel, who are so dedicated to teaching online or in-person to meet our children’s educational needs.

A Shoutout to our daughter who works in-person 3 days a week teaching special needs children.

Thank you to all those who strive to keep our communities and our world safe under stressful conditions.

Thank you to those who help their neighbors in numerous and myriad ways!

Thank you to those in community agencies who help provide food, income, and other basic needs to those struggling during these difficult times.

Thank you to all who provide support to others online in a variety of ways– humor, pictures of nature, adventures in nature, prayer, words of encouragement, support groups.

Thank you all who are finding new ways to cope, be it slowing down, or getting things done!

Thank you Nature itself for helping us to breathe, to heal, to enjoy your wonders.

Thank you for the human ability to not only survive tough times, but to endure, and to come out on the other side!

Thank you for our fellow humans, our families, our friends, our pets who help us cope, remind us of love, and provide CONNECTION!

Thank you for our spiritual beliefs to sustain us, to bring us comfort, and to share with others.

Thank you Jason Beckom for reminding us to BE THANKFUL in oh so many ways!

Blessings,

Carolyn Quinn

	Slow me down, Lord!
	Ease the pounding of my heart
	By the quieting of my mind.
	Steady my harried pace
	With a vision of the eternal reach of time.
	Give me,
	Amidst the confusions of my day,
	The calmness of the everlasting hills.
	Break the tensions of my nerves
	With the soothing music 
	Of the singing streams
	That live in my memory.
	Help me to know
	The magical power of sleep,
	Teach me the art
	Of taking minute vacations 
	Of slowing down
	To look at a flower;
	To chat with an old friend 
	Or make a new one;
	To pat a stray dog;
	To watch a spider build a web;
	To smile at a child;
	Or to read a few lines from a good book.
	Remind me each day
	That the race is not always to the swift;
	That there is more to life 
	Than increasing its speed.
	Let me look upward
	Into the branches of the towering oak
	And know that it grew great and strong
	Because it grew slowly and well.
	Slow me down, Lord,
	And inspire me to send my roots deep
	Into the soil of life's enduring values
	That I may grow toward the stars
	Of my greater destiny.


			Wilferd A. Peterson.

As I continue on this up-and-down journey of post-concussion recovery, I have realized my powerlessness over my own and the world’s current CRZ situation (Covid-19 virus, the economy, others’ needs).  It is in these times that I am pushed to remember I need to rely on God (who is my Higher Power).  It is a lesson I have to learn over and over.  You would think I would get it by now, but I like to do things MY WAY, so everything takes longer! 

So I want to check in with you on how you employ a spiritual dimension to the core areas of need in life and offer a simple coping way in each area out of my own life.

Physical:  How are you doing with your self-care?

Self-care is the foundation for all others.  I have asthma and another condition which affects my very breathing, so I have to take medications to manage these conditions.  Another thing I do is work on my ability to breathe more deeply from my diaphragm (remember Kegel exercises?!) This strengthens my abdominal and diaphragm muscles, which in turn improves my ability to breathe.  Also, read the poem above on ways to connect with Nature!  

Emotional:  Our emotions can indirectly affect our immune system, either strengthening or weakening it.  If we stay in a predominantly emotional state, this can be hard on our nervous system, too, and it needs time to rest.  One of the best ways to help yourself is breathing, which is free, effective, and easily done.  

Breathing exercise:  Simply get in a relaxed position, eyes open or closed, breathe through your nose, out through your mouth, 3-5 times for moderate stress, and up to 10 times for greater stress.  Also, remember breathing is a direct connection to God, life itself.

Mental:  Our thoughts can affect us in different ways.  To help manage my anxiety through thoughts, I was given the following phrase from the above poem when I was young, and I still use it today:  “Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind.”  

Do you have a phrase, affirmation, slogan which helps you mentally?  PLEASE SHARE!  

Relationship:  We are often harder on ourselves than anyone else could be.  Also, others can affect us positively or negatively. To help myself cope with being hard on myself in relation to caring about what others think of me, I have learned to reach out to trusted friends/family to check out my often off-base perceptions.  I also turn over these issues to my Higher Power or relate to the beauty of the above poem.

How do you handle relationships with yourself and/or others?

Spiritual: When nothing else works, I finally turn to God.  The above poem helps me to remember how to do this in many ways.  Also, a generic prayer I use nightly is:  

“I ask for the best and highest good for myself, others (the two-leggeds and four-leggeds), all life on earth, our planet, the Universe.”

What prayer, inspiration, etc., helps you cope?

Wishing you a week filled with a greater connection to All That Is!

Blessings, 

Carolyn 

Healing, Resources, and Connections:  As I continue through this journey of recovery from post-concussion syndrome, I have had to ask myself what is it that keeps me going.  It is the same foundation that has always sustained me from earliest childhood, my spirituality–I.e., my connection with Something/Someone greater than myself!

The definition of spirituality is very individual. For some, it might be whatever gives meaning and purpose to life.   For some, it might be a connection with nature.  For others, it is their religious belief in a personal relationship with God and others which may also be found through the religious community. For me, the spiritual journey has been so rich and varied, but always in relationship to Something/Someone greater than myself.  

From my earliest memory at age three, I always felt connected to all that is.  My immediate family was nonreligious until I was age nine when we found a home within the First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).  My life centered on this connection through my first college experience. 

Then I became Catholic in my first marriage.  However, when my marriage broke up and I was told I could not even take Communion, I was so devastated that I became agnostic/secular for many years.  (Even though it was Jesus who led me to a secular community!)  I next went through a deep metaphysical time followed by recovery in 12 step programs. 

I was finally called to the ministry by God (who told me, “I let you do it your way for 40 years; now it is MY turn!”).  I attended an interfaith Seminary in which we studied all religions, and was the perfect training for me to become a Hospice chaplain and later, Bereavement Coordinator, with a ministry of meeting patients and their family members where they were, whatever their beliefs, as they faced the terminal illness, and/or the loss of their loved one.  I also eventually found a home again within Christianity.

I love all aspects of ministry, including officiating at weddings, celebration of life services, baptisms, house blessings/clearings, long-distance prayer/ healing, spiritual direction and coaching, pastoral care, and social justice.

My relationship with God has brought me through every aspect of my life!  I am filled with gratitude and wonder, knowing that whatever I am going through, I am accepted and loved unconditionally!  

And what about YOU?!  I would love to hear from you about your spiritual journey!  Is it a connection to Something/Someone greater than yourself? That which gives your life purpose and meaning? A connection to Nature or a specific place (check out my spiritual home on Earth at Cathedral Rock).  Connection to the Universe, science? Being part of a religious community, 12 step program?  Or like me, some of all the above?

Blessings on your spiritual journey, whatever it may be!

Carolyn Q.

Hello All! Here we are halfway through the year! How did this happen?! For me, time has totally slowed down because of a sudden fall 8 weeks ago in which I fainted 3 times. (Doctors are still debating the reason). I am now suffering from post-concussion syndrome, which means headaches, decreased memory/concentration, anxiety, vertigo, and decreased level of activity.

So how do you cope with a physical issue which alters your life in the midst of a pandemic and social unrest on issues I care deeply about?

Resources and Connections: 

First, you start with SELF CARE. This means dealing with yourself where you are. If you do not take care of yourself first, there will not be a you to be there for yourself or others! For me, this means lots of rest, while at the same time doing what I can activity-wise, even if only for a few minutes or hours, cutting back on the news and social media. 

Emotionally, it means ACCEPTANCE of where I am–i.e., letting myself experience whatever I am feeling in the moment. 

SELF TALK: This means thinking/talking positively within ourselves. We are often our own harshest critics. I tend to call myself “stupid,” and I have learned to substitute loving nicknames for myself, e.g., “Sweet Carolyn.” Or telling myself, “It is ok to be where you are,” or “It is ok if you cry.” With others, it is ok to set boundaries, to reach out for support, or be thankful for the support. Spiritually, it is ok to tell your Higher Power what you are experiencing, and how you need help.

And the good news for me is that I WILL come out of this eventually, I can do PT to help myself heal, take meds, whatever it takes to help myself. Since we should be staying home anyway, it is a good time to slow down! (Gotta have some humor!).

Till next time…

Blessings,

Carolyn Q