I have been so fortunate to have had two Moms, my birth Mom and forever Mom, Barbara Stevenson Walters, and my Bonus Mom Eleanor known as Lee. Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day to both of you!
The older I get, the more meaningful and precious I am aware of the earthly time I spent with my Mom Barbara. I miss her every day. Some of my favorite memories:
- How she would bravely be by herself while Dad was working somewhere else during the week when my brother and I were so little. How she would let her chores go and sit down on the floor with us to play, read us books, teach us slightly bawdy songs she had learned from her Dad!
- How she went to work when I was in high school to help send me to college, how she continued to work because she liked it so much, and how she had to retire at age 48 due to a heart problem.
- How she let me learn to cook on my own because I could not take advice or orders! (And the family ate it anyway)! Once I left home, she was always available to give me advice when I needed it, make holiday bread with her, send me recipes from Heloise with handy tips on everything from A to Z! She was always there for my brother and me!
- Once she became a widow, we talked 2x DAILY on the phone for 14+ years, until her major stroke. I miss this the most
- How with each stage of her life when she had to adapt to giving up the family home, and then move into independent, assisted living, and finally the nursing home, she said, “My Grandma and Mom were my role models on doing this, so I can too!” And she did with grace and grit!
- How she was there for me when I had my bad concussion last year, cradling me as I lay on the floor. I know you are my Guardian Angel Mama Bear!
I met my Bonus Mom at age 26. We were both at a difficult time in our lives. I was picking up the pieces to start a new life after a divorce, a disastrous move to California, and a return home to live with my folks. Lee at age 45 had lost her husband to a heart attack while he was hunting, was deeply depressed with her grief, and was trying to start over with the help of her two daughters. I became the third daughter.
We had a tight-knit group of 5 friends, went out together every Wednesday to a club, went shopping, and shared life’s secrets. Lee was the Mom I could share anything with!
I helped Lee and her daughter get her into counseling through the Menninger Foundation which helped save her life. She then got a great job with the Kansas Bar Association. I went through the breakdown of her youngest daughter into serious mental illness with her and her oldest daughter, a truly devastating experience that was lifelong.
Our birthdays were 4 days apart, and we would always celebrate at the Red Lobster. Once I moved to another city and then Arizona, we talked on the phone at least monthly.
Lee was diagnosed with incurable cancer, and her 2nd marriage ended. I flew her out to Arizona for a visit, not realizing how advanced her cancer was. We were able to do a few fun things, including the Desert Botanical Gardens and Sedona. Lee lived 9 months longer than her prognosis, and had started counseling again!
I was on my way to work as a crisis therapist when I suddenly was overcome with grief about Lee! Sure enough, when I got home, there was a message that Lee had died during that time! I was so bereft. A week after my birthday, a birthday card arrived from Lee, and we never knew what human sent it because Lee had been in the hospital the last month of her life! Of course, it was Heaven sent!
I still miss both of my Moms, but know I shall be with them again!
Blessings and Happy Mother’s Day!
Carolyn
My mom Barbara Inez Stevenson Walters
Carolyn & Mom
My favorite picture of my mom
Mom & Carolyn
Lee, my second mom, and her second husband.
Lee my second mom.
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