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ON FATHER’S DAY  

Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads in the world and all the Dads in Heaven, especially my own dad, Jacob William Walters, aka J.W. or Walt.

My dad was born on a tenant farm, the last of 7 children, and grew up in the Great Depression.  The year before he died, we visited the site of his birth.  

He served in WWII in the South Pacific, a Marine fighting on Guadalcanal, Okinawa, Peleliu, and much more.  He almost died from typhus at one point. He suffered for the rest of his life from shellshock, or what we now call PTSD.  He also became hard of hearing and amazingly, learned to read lips!

Dad went to work for Southwestern Bell after the war as a lineman and then as an installer/repairman for 39 years.  He was known in his quiet way for his skill, willingness to help, and dependability.  In his later years, he flipped houses.  He would buy them cheaply, Mom would design them, and then Dad would renovate them.  He taught himself plumbing, electricity, whatever, in the process!  I was always so proud of his craftsmanship!

The folks’ most important goal was to always keep the family together so we moved with Dad 18 times in 6 years in our trailers.  The biggest move was when we finally settled in our small hometown. One of the happiest memories was moving into our own home.  Dad and Mom did all the finishing work, and us kids helped out!  We did everything together as a family.  This was the cornerstone of Dad’s life. Probably the biggest turning point in our family was in joining the local Christian Church (DOC). We were baptized together.  Dad at 6’2″, as he was immersed, was dropped by the shorter minister!!  For the rest of his life, Jesus was Dad’s Main Man!  The tears streamed down his cheeks one day as I realized this in amazement!  As he was dying, he said he was not afraid because Jesus was with him.  

One of Dad’s greatest joys was traveling.  He even built a little travel trailer when us kids were young. Mom and he spent some of their happiest years in retirement traveling, and their winters in AZ.  They made friends from all over the US.  On his 70th birthday, Dad stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon in total awe.  It was one of our happiest family trips.

These are just a few of the highlights of his life.

I often see his laughing, joyous face painted across the AZ sky which he loved, and in my tears of grief, I am happy!!   

Blessings,

Carolyn Q

In all my years on earth both personally and professionally, I have found that the most difficult, and also most necessary of all life’s experiences, is in relationship to ourselves, others, and God (however you define God).  So, over the next few weeks, I will be focusing on these relationships.  

Healing:  I have struggled from the earliest memory with self-esteem.  There seem to be two basic kinds of self-esteem:  

1. Internal self-esteem–how you feel about and view yourself regardless of anyone else. 

2. External or other self-esteem–how you are viewed by others (or how you think you are viewed) and its effect on you.

I remember feeling good about myself from earliest memory at age 3.  This was in direct tension with feeling unsure about myself too, mostly in relationship to the greater world. So, from our earliest time, even in utero, we are influenced by factors in relationship to others and the greater world. It is almost impossible not to be.  So, from my earliest beginning, it seems there were two parts of me, one feeling so good about myself, and one in tension with my relationship to the bigger world and how it affected me.

Connections:  As a small child, feeling good about myself was reflected in my boldness to go up to others, and confidently say, “Hi, I’m Carolyn, I’m 4 years old, do you want to hear me sing my favorite songs?” Mom told me often the first word I said after Mommy and Daddy was “Why?” So that insatiable curiosity I have always had has been there from the beginning.  I also felt an unspeakable connection with something which I could not put into words.  However, I often also felt unsure of myself as we moved to 18 different towns by the time I was age 6. On the one hand, this has left me with a lifelong sense of adventure to travel, experience new things, new places, new people.  At the same time, I have always had the need to trust, to be anchored, to feel safe, to belong, which I often do not feel.

I am currently experiencing this feeling of being unanchored, unsafe, untrusting, and not belonging, all related to a serious fall I had 6 weeks ago when my blood pressure suddenly dropped and I fainted and hit the floor.  (I have no memory of this).  I am now also experiencing post-concussion symptoms.  Isn’t it amazing what can throw you into those earliest needs and fears?  I feel like I do not know myself and I am starting over.  All this in the midst of a pandemic and the amazing, necessary metamorphosis our country is struggling with right now!  

More on these issues in next week’s blog!  Hopefully, my mind and memory will be more clear!  

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.

RESOURCES FOR CHALLENGING TIMES

Healing:  Many are experiencing tough times as we go through Covid-19, especially the stressors on finances, which affects every aspect of our lives.  At one point in my life, I was laid off 5 times in 12 years.  I was fortunate to have a partner but it was still very stressful financially, to say nothing of the effect on my self-esteem.  Below are resources which you can check out for yourselves and/or to help others!  

Resources and Connections:  

*For information and referral nationally on every need 24/7:  

• 211 United Way:  By phone, simply dial 211 or via computer, go to 211.org and you will get information for your city/state.  

For Seniors (And usually for anyone disabled):

• Area Agency On Aging for your region/state.
• Senior Resources Guide:  Senior Resource Guide or National Senior Resources Directory.
• Eldercare Locator:  1-800-677-1116.

For Food Assistance: 

• Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)1-800-221-5689 or benefits.gov.  
• Food Banks:  FoodPantries.org  Feeding America
• https://des.az.gov/services/basic-needs/food-assistance

Healthcare: 

• Senior Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) for Medicare eligible recipients.  Free 1:1 counseling assistance.

Check out Seniors Resource Guide for excellent information and referral by state to SHIP.

Utilities Assistance:  

• Client Assistance Program:  Benefits.gov.  (Best to apply early in the month while funds are available).

Other resources for all kinds of needs for incredible prices:

• Dollar Tree, Family Dollar, Dollar General, 99 cent Store, or Food City. 
• Ross Dress for Less:  Senior Day Tuesdays 10% off.
• Bealle’s Outlet:  Senior Day Mondays 15% off.

For Small Businesses:

• US Small Business Owner’s Guide.
• CoronaVirus: Small Business Guidance and Loan Resources.
• Small Business Resource Directory. 
• Paycheck Protection Program
• Senior Professional Network: http://seniorbusinessconection.com

Alignable: The Small Business Network.  

• Alignable’s Corona Resource Recovery Center for Small Businesses.

Additional Resources:

• Unemployment Insurance Benefits
• Pandemic Unemployment Assistance – For individuals who are not otherwise eligible for unemployment insurance (UI) benefits.

• List of Relief funds in your state. 
• For photographers, musician, artists, journalism, filmmakers, actors, or writers: https://phlearn.com/resources/#cb-module-6

• For Beauty Industry Workers: https://www.probeauty.org/covid-relief-fund-application/covid-19-application

It is hoped these resources will be helpful to you and/or others.  PLEASE feel free to share!

Any questions, contact me at: 602-451-2233 or [email protected].

What resources would you suggest? Please share.

          Live your Life with

                Radical Love, Compassion, 

              Grace, & Gratitude! 

Healing: All of the stress in the Universe and our world finally caught up with me one month ago today. Physically, I literally collapsed with low blood pressure and blood rushing to my feet.  Emotionally, my poor heart could not handle any more.  Mentally, my head drained from all the stress of Covid-19, collapse of the economy, and negative politics. Spiritually, I totally gave up and surrendered.

Resources: I realized my collapse was more than physical.  I had to go through this to make room for radical love, compassion, grace, and gratitude to be part of my life again. And now, with the violence in our country, this is even more imperative.  I also had to surrender to the process of whatever is going on with me and accept the help of others, including a team of medical experts.

Connections:  

*Radical Love:  All great spiritual traditions value love.  Radical love embraces reverence for all life and nonviolence in thought, word, and deed and shows that violence only begets violence.  

How can we show radical love in this time of division, violence, and deep ancestral pain? 

*Compassion:  This resides in and comes forth from our heart.  We are called to be compassionate not only with others, but with ourselves.  I have had to be kind with myself in my current state and allow others to be there for me.

How can we show compassion for ourselves and for others with different points of view, behaviors, cultures, ethnicities, religions/no religions, sexual orientation?

*Grace:  Grace is something which is freely given without judgment, and is available with acceptance and forgiveness.  The only hitch is we have to be ready to accept it and let it in.

I am again in a state of Grace for the 100th time in my life!  

How are you letting grace into your life?

*Gratitude:  Having an attitude of gratitude can physically create new neural pathways in the brain and radically change and heal us.  

I am SO GRATEFUL for this opportunity yet again to change and heal in all ways!

What are you GRATEFUL for in the midst of whatever you are going through and the pain engulfing our world?  How different could things be in our lives and in the world if we only lived in gratitude?! 

BE KIND TO YOUR MIND!

May is Mental Health Month to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and to stop the stigma associated with mental health issues.  The theme this year is Fitness #4Mind4Body, recognizing the mind/body connection.

Healing: The Covid-19 Pandemic has increased the need even more to maintain our physical/mental health.  If you are like me, I keep going back and forth from Denial (“This is not happening!”) to Shock (“This cannot be happening!”) to depression (“Will this ever be over?!).  Some helpful coping resources are given below to help us through these challenging times:

Resources:  Remember to:

*Breathe!:  Pause and Breathe!  In the next few months, I will be posting videos of Breathing Exercises with me to help you!

*Take breaks from Covid-19 content via Social Media.

*Seek help if overwhelmed or unsafe:  

Suicide Prevention Helpline:  800-273-8255.

The Samaritans:  877-870-4673 (HOPE).

Childhelp USA National Helpline:  800-422-4453.

Connections:  Reach out and stay connected:

*Join Facebook:  I have been surprised how much it has helped me to reconnect with childhood friends, my family, and making new friends.

*Join Facebook Groups:  You will reach even a wider group of persons.  Some of my favorites are:  Soul Sisters Tribe; Sobriety Consciousness; and Idealists of the World.

*Several churches and denominations provide live streaming of services and activities which are very helpful, comforting, and connecting.

*Facetime or call/text/Messenger with friends and family, especially children and grandchildren!  

*Share inspirational or humorous images/messages!  If it helps you, it can help others!

*Get out in nature, get exercise, eat healthily!

*Reach out to others or organizations who may be struggling and offer your help/support. This could be financial.

Wishing you good mental health not only in May but all year round!  

Blessings,

Carolyn

Pandemic 2020

The grief of loneliness hangs heavy,

fog-like in my home,

once a safe haven, now almost prison-like.

I gaze out my window at vibrant yellow poppies

across the street, standing tall.

Smiling I know their confident presence

is a needed hope that this fog will lift,

ending the solitary  grief

of being colorless . . .

Adrift

By: Janie Rian

HEALING:  Hello in the merry month of May!  The beginning of a new month and new hope we will move through this Pandemic, just like our opening poem by my dearest friend Janie Rian!

April started out good.  Alas, my entire back went out!  I was immediately thrown into initial shock and denial, followed by feeling helpless, angry, and finally depressed and anxious!  This was compounded by a dear friend’s Mom being at death’s door, friends losing friends to Covid-19, my husband working as a hospital RN, and my book coming to a stop.  What to do?!  

CONNECTIONS:  I had to deal with the situation in front of me in the realm of emotions, which is the heart of griefwork.  I had to:

       1.  BE where I was.

       2.  Be AWARE of my emotions.

       3.  FEEL my emotions.

       4.  EXPRESS my emotions.

       5.  Get THROUGH my emotions.

I got help from my Physical Therapist for my physical problems so the emotions would not get further stuck in my body.  I took my pain meds and supplements again.  I allowed myself to feel my emotions–cry if I needed to, yell in a safe place.  I had a Telehealth therapy session and was able to find out that memories of my dad’s traumatic dying/death were triggered by what my friend’s Mom was going through.  I got in touch with my RAW fear about losing my husband to Coronavirus.  I quit watching the media or looking at negative stuff on social media.  I did Reiki healing and prayer work nightly for others and me.  I texted/called/posted on FB with close friends, family, and FB support groups. RESULTS:  I am slowly getting better! My friend’s Mom is recovering! My husband is OK so far!

RESOURCES for YOU:  All online

• Free Apps:  
  • Calm
  • Headspace
  • Intimind (Spanish)
• NAMI Resource Library:  In-person and online support groups
• Warmline Directory
• Emotions Anonymous
• Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

WHAT HELPS YOU DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF EMOTIONS?  PLEASE SHARE! 

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.

HEALING:   

Hello all from the AMAZING LAND OF CONTRASTS–ARIZONA! It is lovely here, with Spring everywhere– profusions of wildflowers, sunshine galore, and wide-open blue skies! All in the midst of the Pandemic!  

Today is Earth Day. And our earth is healing as she and we “get a rest”–less air pollution, less noise pollution, and my fave, less traffic! Sadly, in the midst of human suffering. A positive in this Pandemic has been turning to healthy products to keep our household environment safer, especially since my husband, dog and I are all high risk and he is a hospital RN. So I am featuring products of Melaleuca!  

RESOURCES:  

Melaleuca is an international company which features healthy, natural products to keep you safer in your home (and now outside the home, too); products for your skin; vitamins and supplements for your health; and so much more! I am a believer and user myself!  

Here are resources to learn more about these amazing products:  

SaferforYourHome.com RE the EcoSense Cleaning line. Recommended on EPA list of acceptable disinfectants.

RenewLotion.com

FlorifyProbiotic.com

***And users and resources to learn more and help you access these amazing products: 

1. Sheila Pfeifer in KS: 785-650-4143 [email protected]; Facebook Messenger.

      2.   Nicole Roe in Northern AZ: 360-901-1897; [email protected].

      3.   Diane Wolfe in central/southern AZ: 623-451-0202; Facebook Messenger.

(These lovely women can help wherever you are located)!

CONNECTIONS:  

Here are our stories with Melaleuca:

Sheila: “As we get to know and talk with our customers, there are so many awesome testimonials. Everyone has their own story and favorite products. Once we try them, we love them!”

Carolyn: “It was Sheila, a dear childhood friend, who got me started.  My arthritic neck pain was a 12-15. Sheila suggested I try Bone and Joint Longevity Pack because it had helped her so much!  Within ONE month my pain was down to a 5! I am now using Replenex Extra Strength, Probiotics, and all the disinfectant products!”

Nicole: “The EcoSense Cleaning Line is superior. It has helped my son with his asthma (Carolyn too!). With having young kids, pets, and working from home, Melaleuca brings peace of mind not having to worry that we will be exposed to chemicals! Nicole uses EVERYTHING Melaleuca since 2016!”

Diane: “I no longer need to have callous remover treatment since using Renew Lotion every night. Also, Solugard is approved by the EPA to combat viruses! And, hand sanitizer is available!”

I hope the best for you and yours in these challenging times! Meantime, get outdoors in Nature!  Following guidelines, of course! HUG A TREE, no virus there!  

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.  

“We have been called to a time of healing for ourselves, others, and the planet in relationship to our Higher Power.”

-Carolyn Quinn

Hello on this holiday weekend of Passover and Easter! I hope you are safe and well as we continue to get through this time of “staying in place.” Today we are sharing ways to stay healthy physically.

HEALING:

1. MOST IMPORTANT: So, no surprise, the MOST important way to stay healthy right now and for at least the next several weeks is Physical/Social Distancing (6 feet) and wearing a face cover when out among others! We stay apart so we can be together again! 
2. Telehealth or phone contact with your doctor: I had a phone appointment with my doctor this week. As I try to keep my high-risk lungs healthy, I am on prescribed medications, OTC meds, and homeopathic meds. My doctor is trained in all of these fortunately, and she approved everything.
3. Nutrition: We are encouraged to eat fresh fruit and vegetables, but this may be difficult for some financially. See below for alternate resources. My husband is diabetic, so we are learning to use Glucerna products among other things.

     4.    Physical activity: Get out in nature or do at-home exercises! Check the resources below.

     5.  Healing prayer: This may seem unusual, but this has been invaluable for me in helping heal an ovarian cyst and 2 lung nodules and in bringing comfort and hope. (Resources below are for persons of different spiritual traditions).

RESOURCES:

1.  If you develop symptoms of COVID-19 (fever above 100.4, dry persistent cough, shortness of breath), call your doctor first! Your doctor will order a test if your symptoms qualify. In Phoenix, our major hospital systems have sites for testing.

2.  For information on medical issues, check out WebMD, Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, or UpToDate.
3. Check out curbside/delivery, 99 Cent stores, Food City for food options. Some restaurants are now selling groceries!
4. Get outside to walk, hike! For at-home exercise, check out 10 Best YouTube Channels for Full At Home Workouts! Programs to meet all needs!
5. Healing Prayer online: 17 Prayers for the Sick Christianity.com, https://www.xavier.edu/jesuitresource/, Jewish Prayers, Poems, and Readings for Healing (Chabad.org), Buddhist Prayer for Healing, or Ananda Healing Prayer Resources. 

CONNECTIONS:

I am GRATEFUL for:  

1. The American people following guidelines that will help reduce the spread of this disease and help us return to a more normal life.

2. Our healthcare workers, first responders, and workers putting their lives on the line for us. 

3. Food banks supplying food for those in need. 

4. Being able to get out in nature or for a car ride with my dog BO.

4. Having prayer chains both religious and spiritual.

What are YOU grateful for?!! Please share!

A generic prayer I use in all situations: “I pray for the best and highest good of all!”

Blessings,

Carolyn Q 

“A time to weep and a time to laugh.
A time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Hello everyone! It seems like a lifetime since my first blog! We have been through so much with the pandemic in just the past 5 days! I changed the topic for this blog due to the urgency of what is happening.
I want to share about the grief process as a way to help understand what we are going through in these challenging times. These steps apply not only to the loss of a loved one but to any loss we may be experiencing. Grief is the reaction to any loss we go through in life, no matter how big or small. Here it goes:

Step 1: Shock/Denial
Denial: “This is not happening!”
For several weeks, we as a nation did not realize or acknowledge that the Coronavirus had hit America.

Shock: “This cannot be happening!”
Even though a part of us knows what is happening, we cannot wrap our heads around the reality of the situation. I call this the Twilight Zone. I have been in deep shock about what is happening.

Step 2: Effects
The effects of the situation begin to hit us physically, materially, environmentally, emotionally, relationship-wise, and spiritually. This can be not only overwhelming and very stressful but also part of HEALING! We gotta FEEL to HEAL!

I have been going through deep sadness, fear and worry, for myself (I am high risk with lung issues), my husband (who is a hospital RN with health issues) and all healthcare workers, our country, and the planet! A little much to take on, right?! But how can you not be affected?! There are glimmers of hope, too!

Step 3: Recovery
We find ways to cope with each of these effects which help us HEAL further. This includes our own RESOURCES (resilience) and external RESOURCES.

The gift of CONNECTIONS with ourselves, others, God, and the planet help us to get through whatever the situation is. Our goal is not only to SURVIVE, but to know we are ALIVE, and in time, we will THRIVE again!

In future blogs, we will explore each of these Effects of grief, RESOURCES to cope with each, and CONNECTIONS to help us get through!

For today, here are a few ideas:

HEALING: Channel feelings via writing, painting, posting on social media, getting out in Nature, practicing Breathing! Download the app for CALM.

RESOURCES: Keep abreast of what is going on with COVID-19.
On Facebook, the most excellent resource I have found is Corona (COVID-19) Information Center with global, national and local updates and resources. CDC.gov.

National Crisis Helpline: 800-662-4357
Veteran’s Crisis Helpline and National Prevention Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

CONNECTIONS: ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL
Keep in touch with family and friends via phone, FaceTime, Zoom, text, social media! (I have made a commitment with several friends to call, FaceTime at least monthly; close family at least weekly). Help someone who cannot get supplies or needed items. Share stories of inspiration, hope, and humor on social media.

REMEMBER WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!

Till next week when we will explore physical and environmental issues, resources and connections!

Blessings,

Carolyn Q.

BIRTH OF A BLOG!

​Hello all! This is Carolyn Quinn welcoming you to the birth of my blog Healing, Resources, and Connections for Body, Mind, Soul, and Spirit! This first posting coincides with the day and season of my own birth, the Vernal Equinox, the dawn of Spring, the season of New Beginnings! So it is with much excitement that I begin this new journey with you!

Little did I know that the birth of my blog would happen at the same time we have been plunged into a worldwide pandemic! But I do not believe things happen coincidentally so maybe it was meant to be!​ ​It is my FERVENT HOPE our blog will help us get through this turbulent time together! It is my DEEP DESIRE to bring to you and to share with you in the three areas for which this blog is named:

HEALING: Healing in our blog covers all aspects of the following dimensions of life: Physical, material, environmental, emotional, mental, relationship, and spiritual. This means how we are affected in each of these areas of our lives as well as what do we do to HEAL in each area!

RESOURCES: Lack of knowledge about resources is a huge need! What do we do and where do we go to get help for ourselves and others? As a “Resource Queen” (a name given to me in my social work career!), I will do my best to provide timely resources and invite you to do the same! 

CONNECTIONS: This area is about our relationships with ourselves, others and God!  How do we relate?! We will feature the absolute importance of connections through inspiring personal stories, ways of connecting, and resources! 

This is YOUR BLOG and I also invite you to share your own thoughts, ideas, comments, and resources!!

I will also be introducing you to my upcoming book Piercing Grief: Six Steps for Healing the ABC’S of Grief Before After and Beyond the Loss of a Loved One through the posting of excerpts.

OUR NEXT BLOG: Keeping Healthy Through Healing Tips, Resources, and Connections!

WELCOME ABOARD ON OUR MOST EXCELLENT ADVENTURE  TOGETHER IN THESE CHALLENGING TIMES!  

BLESSINGS,

Carolyn Q.