Healing Resource Connection

The blog today is an airline employee version of a new beginning. Every flight you go on is a new journey.  Submitted from a friend Sharon Lane Goldsmith who was an airline employee for 40 years.  It was written by a supervisor of hers.

Happy New Year 
Welcome aboard Flight #2021. We are preparing for an on-time departure into the New Year. Please make sure your Attitude and Actions are secured and locked in an upbeat and upright position. All self-destructive thoughts should be turned off at this time and remain off forever. Any negativity, hate, and discouragement must remain completely stowed. In the unlikely event we lose Altitude while under pressure, simply reach up and pull down a Prayer. Prayers will automatically activate if you have Faith. With Faith, you will be able to assist other passengers. There will be NO BAGGAGE allowed on this flight. Now, Captain God has cleared us for takeoff. Our first destination is Love, with continuing stops at Peace and Joy. Before you deplane make sure you don’t leave any of your Hopes and Dreams behind. Once these are lost, they cannot be reclaimed. If there’s anything we can do to make your flight more enjoyable, please do the same by paying it forward. We wish you a pleasant flight!
Now.. sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight️Have a Happy New Year️️

Holidays, more than other times of the year, are filled with sensations that leave us vulnerable and make the experience of loss harder and more poignant—the sights, the sounds, the smells.  The ebb and flow of grief can overwhelm us as we recall special holiday moments with our loved ones.  This is especially true in this season of COVID.  Also, if we have lost our loved ones in the holiday season, grief can be even more intense.

Here are some Holiday Helps to cope with grief:

*Physical:  You have the RIGHT to:

Watch your physical health by:

Engaging in physical activity, getting your beauty sleep, eating and drinking healthily, following COVID health guidelines of wearing a mask, social distancing, avoiding large gatherings.

*Emotional:  You have the RIGHT to: 

Feel and experience your emotions. 

Allow personal times to feel your grief.

*Mental:  You have the RIGHT to:   

Have memories of happy holiday events.

Honor your loved ones by lighting a memorial candle, writing a letter or poem, doing something you enjoyed together.  My Mom and I always toured our little hometown to look at the Christmas lights!  I continue this with BO the Doggie who LOVES it as did our previous Baron!

Develop new rituals.

Be realistic:  Decrease your expectations of self.

Reach out for help!  See BELOW IN SOCIAL!  

*Social:  You have the RIGHT to:  

Honor where you are.

Allow yourself time to be alone, or leave social events early, or not attend.

Get a gift for the needy or donate to a charity.

Spend time with a pet!!  Or like my aunt, GET A PET!  

Reach out for help if needed!  Every state has a Crisis Helpline.  The NATIONAL CRISIS HELPLINE AND PREVENTION SUICIDE LIFELINE is:

800-273-8255.   PASS IT ON!  

*Spiritual:  You have the RIGHT to: 

Embrace your spirituality, or not.

Search for meaning, ask WHY.

Spend time in nature.

Have a specific time for devotions/inspirational time.

Reach out to a spiritual resource if needed personally or by participating in live streaming, socially distanced services, or expressing needs through an online support group.

REMEMBER:  YOU WILL SURVIVE AND HOPEFULLY SOMEDAY, THRIVE!

BLESSINGS IN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AND BEYOND,

CAROLYN

This week marks two great events that occur this week.

The first important event is the Winter Solstice which arrives on Monday, December 21 at 4:20 am CST.  The Winter Solstice celebrates the longest hours of darkness or the rebirth of the sun in the Northern hemisphere.  It is believed to hold powerful energy for regeneration, renewal, and self-reflection.  It also symbolizes the birth of the sun and is representative of the birth of the Son, Jesus.

In Christianity, the night of the 21st of December is also sometimes called Blue Christmas or a time of Lament and Grief as we consider our own lives.  For me personally, I have experienced the loss of four persons I dearly loved in the past five months, one to the dreaded Covid, and I will be pondering these losses as well of those occurring worldwide due to the Pandemic and its accompanying catastrophes.

What will YOU be reflecting upon this Winter Solstice?!  

This also marks the fourth week of Advent in the Christian religion and the theme is…LOVE!  For me, this heralds the second most important event in the Western Christian religion, the birth of LOVE itself in the form of Jesus.  It is this gift of Love itself through Jesus that makes it possible for me to cope with the joys and sorrows of life. (Other branches of Christianity celebrate the birth of Jesus at later dates in January).

Love permeates the entire life of Jesus, his ministry, his death, and Resurrection. Love is the reason for Jesus’s entire purpose for being on Earth.  “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown,” said Linus to Charlie in A Charlie Brown Christmas.  I freely admit I watch this every year!  

How does LOVE manifest in your life?

I wish you and yours the BEST of LOVE in this Holiday Season!

Carolyn Q.

In Seminary, I had the privilege of studying all the major spiritual traditions of the world.  While I am Christian, it gave me a much broader understanding of other traditions and what these have in common.  The theme of light permeates several traditions and in the month of December!

Today, we look at Buddhism from the story of The Buddha and then share this week’s theme of Advent in Christianity.

Buddha was born Siddartha Gautama in northern India/Nepal approximately 2600 years ago.  He was a prince and his parents wanted to shield and protect him from the harsh realities of life.  But Siddartha wanted to know more about the world and he secretly escaped the palace several days in a row.  He was totally overcome by witnessing the suffering in life, especially sickness, old age, and death.

He was so overcome he left his sheltered, wealthy existence to seek the true nature of the mind for the benefit of all beings.  For six years, he searched to find Truth and studied, meditated, and lived an austere life.  He finally meditated for several days under what has become known as the Bodhi tree and the nature of Buddhism’s truth of the mind was revealed to him.  He achieved unconditional and lasting happiness, free of disturbing emotions, and filled with fearlessness, joy, and compassion.  

He spent the rest of the next 45 years sharing what he had learned with all who would receive.  This is a somewhat simplified version and I encourage you, if you choose, to seek further “enlightenment” of Buddhism through sources such as:  “The Enlightenment of The Buddha,” Learn Religions; or “Shakyamuni Buddha’s Enlightenment: What did the Buddha Realize?”  By Domyo.  4/6/2017.  Buddhist History. Buddhist Teachings. 

In Christianity, the theme for this week is awaiting the arrival of Jesus’s coming.  More on this theme in the midweek post.  What are you awaiting the arrival of in your own life, and how do you do this?  I look forward to the arrival of the curing of Covid and its devastating effects globally.  In the meantime, I WEAR MY MASK!  

Blessings,

Carolyn

 LET THERE BE…..LIGHT!!!

Tis the season for…..LIGHT!  It has always been amazing to me that in the darkest time of the year, there are celebrations of LIGHT all over the world!  Perhaps these celebrations of LIGHT remind us that the darkness must always yield to the light. It is the promise that the sun comes back, bringing longer days and that Spring follows winter!

Festivals of Light permeate the month of December through many spiritual traditions, the Winter Solstice, and Kwanzaa.

*In Christianity, the start of the Advent season starts today with Advent, the preparation and anticipation of the birth of Jesus on December 25.

*In Buddhism, December 8th is the celebration of the Buddha’s Enlightenment.

*In Judaism, Hanukkah is an eight-day celebration of light representing knowledge and wisdom, and so much more, beginning on December 12.

*Winter Solstice has been celebrated for thousands of years in honor of the return of the sun, the celebration of light, and the symbolic meaning of light and wisdom.

*The holiday of Kwanzaa is a one week ethnic celebration of light starting on December 26.  

So, in the month of December, I invite you to participate with me in exploring the meaning, traditions, and ways of celebrating the Festivals of Light.  This can be a new way of bringing us closer together in the time of the global darkness of Covid.

Blessings as we start the month of December in celebration of LIGHT!  

Carolyn

This is always a sweet/sad time of year for me. Each of my parents went to Heaven in the month of November–Dad first on November 16th and Mom on November 10,16 years later.  It never surprised me they died in the same month because they were so joined at the heart and the hip!  

They had been able to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary at a reunion of Mom’s family the summer before, a joyous occasion and complete surprise for Mom.  (Dad had been told so we could get Mom there on time)!

The next March after celebrating their actual anniversary on Valentine’s Day (which Mom always jokingly said she picked so he would never forget–and he didn’t!), Dad had an unrelenting 8 months of illnesses, including two different kinds of cancer.  At the end, he was transferred to a hospital 70 miles from home and I flew home that same day.

In our last time together, I suddenly asked Dad if he was afraid and as he shivered and shook from high fever, he said, “No!”  “Are you praying?!”  “Yes,” as he struggled to breathe.  And last, “Is Jesus with you, Dad?”  “Oh yes!” Dad murmured with his last strength.  He so loved Jesus.  That has comforted me through the years.

Mom lived another 16 years, struggling with widowhood, illnesses, and finally being in a nursing home.  She faced each difficulty with grace, grit, and Barbara’s determination.  In our last visit, when asked if she was at peace, she said, “Oh yes!”  After her death as I was preparing the Story of her life, she came to me and told me, “You can do whatever you want.”(Meaning for her funeral which she had told me when alive she would come back and haunt me if I changed any of what she planned!)   

“I am with Dad now so I do not care!”  

And so, her vision of Heaven had come true!  Dad had built a cabin with rocking chairs on the front porch and they were rocking their way into Heaven! 

Wedding Day 2/14/1947 Last photo together before their passing

LOVE YOU FOREVER MOM AND DAD! 

-Carolyn

NATIONAL PHYSICAL THERAPY MONTH—AND HALLOWEEN🎃🎃🎃

This month is National Physical Therapy Month.  I wanted to highlight this wonderful “movement medicine” by featuring the AWESOME Physical Therapy location where I have received services when needed for the past 10 years!  

At Banner Physical Therapy 2400 W Dunlap in Phoenix, Arizona, the following services are offered: Concussion Management, Dry Needling, Pediatric Therapy, Spanish Speaking, Sports Medicine, TMJ Rehab, Amputee Rehab, Work Conditioning, Telemed Eval.  Numerous insurances cover treatment.

I cannot say enough about this great place! The front office staff are courteous, competent, and caring. The PT staff are licensed and highly educated and their level of expertise is bar none.

They provide a friendly, upbeat, and encouraging atmosphere while also challenging you to do what is needed to get better.  This includes active participation on your part in doing home exercises which are individually designed for you.  Interns completing their PT practicums are also an integral part of the staff. All these services are provided in an environment of ample space and good equipment. (Personally, I love the music too!).  AND note, they decorate for various holidays! See pics!  

I started going to this location 10 years ago after suffering for 20 years with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, the result of a very serious car accident.  It took one treatment and I was cured!   Four years later when I broke my right radial bone, I went there for treatment, and again, SUCCESS.  I have had various ailments requiring PT the past four years and been treated successfully for every condition.  I am ready to graduate next week after treatment for my Concussion Syndrome.  I will continue on my own there in a personal wellness program specifically designed for me by my PT.  

I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE you to consider Physical Therapy as part of your treatment regimen if needed!  

Blessings, 

Carolyn Q

SPECIAL REMEMBRANCES CARLA’S FAMILY:    

One way to cope with grief on special occasions while at the same time honoring your loved one is to do a special activity or remembrance. Carla’s husband, daughter, son and daughter-in-law, and grandkids each found ways to do this:  

Carla’s daughter Lindsey organized a fun get together for everyone on Carla’s birthday.  Carla in her last few months LOVED getting out with her family. 

Her son Bryan wrote a beautiful tribute and memory of a family project done on behalf of Carla.

“Finding the right words to describe who my Mother was on this earth remains to be a challenge. 

Carolyn, you have such a beautiful heart and soul. My Mother loved you dearly, as we all do. I cannot thank you enough for this tribute as it has brought so many memories back of wonderful times. 

For the sake of being brief, I’ll just tell one story. It was a crisp and sunny December in Kansas City. Her 3 “Living Angels”(Aunt’s Mary & Sally) and I had gotten into a bit of a routine, so the weather was noticeably beautiful. Meds? Check. Bed? Check. Garments? Check. It can truly be cumbersome as some of you know, and home health requires more than a couple loving people. Monday’s were always more eventful with visits from Doc, Hospice, and always a few admirers who had scheduled to stop by. We collectively knew the end was near.

With just days to live, my Mother insisted to us that we write as many letters as possible. I think she knew she still had the ability to leave each of us with a life-changing gift; something we could turn to in times of need. Her words, her love, her legacy. It was to be addressed to her Hospice Nurse. One of the many Healthcare professionals we grew fond of. In what now seems like her last few true breaths, Carla Drescher wanted to express gratitude.  Thanking someone who had impacted her on a large scale in such a short amount of time. Fitting because that’s the life she lived daily. She took a deep breath and said “Thank you so much for assisting me in my journey home.” She passed away days later, on the same day we opened our doors at The Blue Door Project exactly a year prior. Her very last and forever lasting impression on this earth was one of grace and love.”

Philip, Carla’s husband sent pics to share:

I am sharing a picture of a pillow we both had without knowing it, and when Carla found out, she said, “It shows we have good taste!” (We both had a love of Kirkland’s). I put two out every Fall!

Hope this gives you some ideas of ways to remember and honor your loved ones! I will be featuring more in the Holiday Season!  

Blessings, 

Carolyn

October 20th would have been my cousin Carla’s 62nd birthday.  I was totally caught off guard when I could not write this blog in honor of her.  It was anniversary grief (or shadow grief as my main grief teacher Sister Teresa called it).  The grief that happens around special occasions when you have lost someone who meant so much to you.

In the 24 hours I took to get through this, memories of Carla’s life flooded me:

*My shock when Aunt Gini, Carla’s Mom, showed up in her pink seersucker maternity outfit and laughingly told me she had “the 9-month flu!”

*Gini softly singing “Toura Loura Loura” to Baby Carla as she rocked her.

*Riding around with teen Carla as she shared the secrets she did not tell anyone else.

*Carla participating in the Argonne Rebels Drum and Bugle Corps all over the USA, head of the cymbal section. (One of her lifelong fondest memories).

*Staying with Carla and her husband Tom.

*Attending Tom’s tragic funeral a few months later with the memory of pregnant Carla needing to be escorted from the casket as she lingered.

*Attending Carla’s wedding to Philip with Grandma Stevenson, our social services role model and woman of devout Catholic faith.

(And Philip picking little Lindsey up when she plopped down in the aisle and holding her throughout the ceremony).

*Providing support as her mother was dying from metastatic breast cancer, and my fear she would get breast cancer too, which she did.

*Carla joyfully sharing she was taking instruction to become Catholic.

*Feeling so much pride as Carla had gotten her BSW and MSW (making us the only social workers in the family at that time); her career in Child Welfare and as Mental Health Director in the State of Kansas, even as she went through treatment for breast cancer.

*Visiting with Carla, her daughter Lindsey, and newborn granddaughter Addison.  Carla tossing off her wig to reveal her lovely newly growing hair!😄💝😍

*Visiting with Carla as she proudly gave tours of the Blue Door Project, a former monastery being renovated for 16 foster adolescents, her last act of love and faith done with her family in Kansas City.  (Her son and wife managed it full time upon its opening).  Much of the reno was donated by many Christians!  

*Finding out that Carla’s breast cancer had spread and she was given 8-10 years to live.  

*Then it was found to have spread further and when she was only given a few weeks/months to live, going to KC for two visits.

*Carla setting a major goal to make it to her 60th birthday which she did and celebrated with a huge birthday party!   And to Christmas, if she could (“the cherry on top of the icing!”)  She crowded all she could into her short time, wearing out her loving family caregivers at times!

*She made it to December 15, passing peacefully as the sunlight streamed through the windows.

All the lives she had touched were evident in the number of persons who came to say goodbye at her visitation and funeral Mass, in spite of blustery weather.

It is said that some persons crowd so much into their lives because they are with us only a short time.  And that was Carla:  Wife, mother, Nina, daughter, social worker, a woman of faith!  All these roles were her joy and lifeblood!  

SO CARLA, WE LOVE YOU, WE HONOR YOU, WE MISS YOU.  One day we will see you again, just as your song “I Can Only Imagine,” plays joyfully in our Reunion!! 

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is from October 1 through October 31. Today and next week I
want to honor and highlight this most important month!
I am sure we all know someone, either a family member, friend, colleague, client, or ourselves
who have battled breast cancer. I have known each of these up close and personal.
Cancer and cardiac are the two big C’s in my family. For years, I secretly dreaded someone in
our family would go through breast cancer. And finally, it happened. My aunt by marriage,
Virginia was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer which had unfortunately already
spread. She lived an incredible length of time before losing her battle.
Then, her husband, my maternal uncle Jack (who was my godfather) was diagnosed with breast
cancer a few years later. Yes, men get breast cancer, too! He went through treatment which
was successful and had no recurrence. Jack and Gini's daughter Carla was diagnosed a few
years after that. Her valiant story will be featured next week.
Professionally, I had the honor of working in oncology for many years as a social worker and
then as an RN in radiation oncology. I had many clients with breast cancer from all walks of life
and all levels of income. Breast cancer is an equal opportunity disease! I provided emotional
support both individually and in support groups for those going through initial and follow up
treatment and evaluation. Some of my clients did not make it while others did!!
Many women have fibrocystic breast tissue. I am one. My first breast cancer scare was in my
thirties before I was in nursing school. I am sorry to say I was pretty ignorant in those days,
although I remember being afraid. Fortunately, I was clear.
I am also sorry to say I was not diligent about monthly self-check ups even after that initial
scare. I have been very lucky to have primary care physicians who are persistent about yearly
checkups.
Fast forward to this year. Within a matter of weeks, two friends and I were faced with breast
cancer scares. One was diagnosed with breast cancer, one had to go through a biopsy which
was negative, and I had to go through advanced testing. It was a VERY stressful time! I was
much more scared this time. Fortunately, I was ok this year. I reached out for support which is
something I have not done in the past.
I REALLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET SUPPORT, GET YOUR YEARLY CHECKUPS, AND
DO YOUR OWN SELF BREAST MONTHLY EXAMS! WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY IN
OUR FIGHT!
Here is a link for this year’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month from the Breast Cancer
Foundation which is very helpful and informational.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is from October 1 through October 31. Today and next week I
want to honor and highlight this most important month!
I am sure we all know someone, either a family member, friend, colleague, client, or ourselves
who have battled breast cancer. I have known each of these up close and personal.
Cancer and cardiac are the two big C’s in my family. For years, I secretly dreaded someone in
our family would go through breast cancer. And finally, it happened. My aunt by marriage,
Virginia was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer which had unfortunately already
spread. She lived an incredible length of time before losing her battle.
Then, her husband, my maternal uncle Jack (who was my godfather) was diagnosed with breast
cancer a few years later. Yes, men get breast cancer, too! He went through treatment which
was successful and had no recurrence. Jack and Gini's daughter Carla was diagnosed a few
years after that. Her valiant story will be featured next week.
Professionally, I had the honor of working in oncology for many years as a social worker and
then as an RN in radiation oncology. I had many clients with breast cancer from all walks of life
and all levels of income. Breast cancer is an equal opportunity disease! I provided emotional
support both individually and in support groups for those going through initial and follow up
treatment and evaluation. Some of my clients did not make it while others did!!
Many women have fibrocystic breast tissue. I am one. My first breast cancer scare was in my
thirties before I was in nursing school. I am sorry to say I was pretty ignorant in those days,
although I remember being afraid. Fortunately, I was clear.
I am also sorry to say I was not diligent about monthly self-check ups even after that initial
scare. I have been very lucky to have primary care physicians who are persistent about yearly
checkups.
Fast forward to this year. Within a matter of weeks, two friends and I were faced with breast
cancer scares. One was diagnosed with breast cancer, one had to go through a biopsy which
was negative, and I had to go through advanced testing. It was a VERY stressful time! I was
much more scared this time. Fortunately, I was ok this year. I reached out for support which is
something I have not done in the past.
I REALLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET SUPPORT, GET YOUR YEARLY CHECKUPS, AND
DO YOUR OWN SELF BREAST MONTHLY EXAMS! WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY IN
OUR FIGHT!
Here is a link for thIs year’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month from the Breast Cancer
Foundation which is very helpful and informational.

https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-cancer-awareness-month

Blessings for now,
Carolyn